National Infertility Awareness Week 2023 — Day One
#VoicesofInfertility
Although it’s been 20 years since our infertility journey was resolved with the birth of our formerly frozen embryo, both my wife and I still have an infertility radar. We can still instantly detect the vibes of a couple who hasn’t had their first child, but I’ve noticed now we’re picking up a different energy from people who have children through infertility, but haven’t told anyone.
We are still very open about how we had our daughter, and she knows our story (mostly because I wrote a book called Almost a Father about it, and she was with us at a Resolve Night of Hope in 2012). There is still a stigma about it – and sadly, some of it seems to come from the religious community.
You shouldn’t have to keep your IVF baby a secret
I meet parents of kids born through IVF, and they haven’t shared their story with anyone who hasn’t gone through IVF for fear of being judged by their church friends. The undercurrent of the reasons for keeping infertility secret is that 1) somehow they sinned by conceiving their children with the help of doctors 2) their kids might be stigmatized by others if it was public knowledge how they were conceived.
Although the Catholic church sets strict rules against IVF, I can’t find anything in the Bible that speaks against doctors helping with healing. My biology and my wife’s reproductive biology weren’t working correctly. A doctor helped us conceive a baby girl, who is now a fierce warrior woman for God.
You are not alone in your faith or your infertility
I am posting this to let parents who are both believers and infertility patients that you have nothing to be ashamed of. I understand that politics and culture have made their way into the IVF discussion, but neither belongs there. God created a woman and a man with the gift of biological parts to create human life. He also gave us healers to help when our bodies aren’t working.
There may be abuses of that medical science, but that is political and cultural, and shouldn’t be used as a gavel to judge infertile men and women who know that life is a gift from God, and know that healing is from God, and seek that healing assistance to bring life into this world.
And to my friends and family of faith – I would ask you to show compassion. Pause before using harsh words of rebuke. Unless you’ve walked in the shoes of an infertile man and woman, it’s impossible to understand what they are feeling, much less how God is leading their hearts.
Our formerly-frozen embryo is now a powerful woman of God
I have no doubt that we followed God’s plan to bring our amazing daughter into this world. She wouldn’t be in this world, growing in her walk with Jesus and spreading the word of God to other believers if we hadn’t sought out the help of doctors almost 21 years ago.
I’m also posting this for parents who are having trouble navigating their faith and infertility with an invitation to reach out to us if you’re walking through this difficult time. Jesus is here for you. God is here for you. We’re here for you. You are not, nor will you ever be, alone.
