I have been trying to figure out what message I want to send to other couples facing infertility heading into 2013, now that I’ve written and published a book about our journey to find our biological baby with the help of doctors and put together an entire website dedicated to all the ‘almost a fathers’ out there.
The best I can come up with is one passionate quote from Jerry Maguire:
“Help me help you!”
I’ve been where you are right now.
If you are desperate and angry and hate people who have kids, I’ve been there.
If you think the infertility establishment and the medical professionals in it are guilty of quackery and false hope I have been there.
If you aren’t sure what the ethical and moral dilemmas are as they relate to masturbating in public rest rooms to fill a small cup with enough sperm to give to a doctor to inject into your wife, I’ve been there.
If you wonder how you will afford the astronomical as yet still uncovered costs of infertility without ending up in bankruptcy or in eternal debt servitude I’ve been there.
If you wonder what the hell your husband was thinking when he said “I don’t want to do this anymore” despite the fact that he has to in fact do very little in the grand scheme of all things infertility I’ve been there.
If you are a parent after infertility grappling with feelings of guilt that on some days you wonder why in the hell you wanted a child so bad to begin with, I have been there.
Help me help you.
Ask the questions you wouldn’t or don’t feel comfortable asking anyone else.
I will give you an honest answer colored with our six year journey through the infertility jungle, peppered with all the reasons why every indignity, moment of anger, frustration, angst and desperation will be worth it. And help you deal with the ongoing rocky roads you will travel as a parent after infertility.
I will also be honest and beg you to try to stay in the moments you are in and enjoy your time as a couple because I can 100% guarantee you there will be days, no matter how miraculous your bundle of joy ultimately is, when you WILL miss just the two of you.
Help me help you find support for your medically assisted parenthood pursuits in 2013.