There are moments in life that you hold onto in the deepest parts of your soul. One of those moments is captured in this picture from 25 years ago, this June 2nd. I look at the smiles on our face and am there dazzled by the princess that I was staring at.
I remember hardly being able to breathe when you walked down the aisle–this angelic vision in white about to give your hand to me in the presence of God, our families and friends to begin a life together in marriage.
I remember how soft your hands were, the shy smile that I had seen, almost blushing like you did when I first saw you at a band rehearsal for the first time. That smile was familiar, like every thing leading up to that point in my life had been put in place for me to meet you
I never imagined you would want to marry me. I don’t know why, but I had this prepubescent angst that had convinced me that I’d always be the nice guy who was fun for a while, but not ‘marriage worthy’.
Yet there I was, with this amazing, strong, beautiful woman who was saying “I do” to a life with me. Forever. Truly God had blessed me.
Now I blink, and 25 years has passed, and I still see that beautiful face every day.
We’ve weathered more storms in our life than I imagined we would in my naive idealistic youth.
There were moments during our journey to build our family that I thought we’d be swept away by the tsunami of emotional trauma that all those years of infertility treatment caused us.
With the miraculous addition of our soul baby 12 years into our married life, I’ve fallen in love with mother you are to Elliana. God’s design for our lives is so perfectly evidenced by the way Elliana looks at you. The same love you have in your eyes as you look at me in our wedding pictures radiates from your eyes now when you look at Elliana. That’s because you see my eyes in Elli–the one constant that kept you fighting through every imaginable physical, emotional and spiritual struggle for six years while we tried to bring our soulbaby into our lives.
I watched as the happy tears streamed down your face, and knew I was living a dream come true. Music has followed us through so many parts of our lives–I was singing in a band when we were flirting like crazy the first time we met.
A whirlwind couple of years brought us to New York City to chase dreams that included me auditioning on Broadway and writing songs in a little makeshift studio on the second floor of a house we rented in Port Washington, Long Island.
I sang to the soul of a baby that hadn’t arrived in our lives in Nashville, begging that soul to come down and join us in the comforting and very ready home we had waiting for him or her.
Now I watch that soulbaby bring you to tears as she sings and plays the same guitar I played in Nashville, beckoning her to hear the love we already had for her.
Music is all around us. The sweet sound of “I love you” at the end of every phone conversation, the xx and oos with every departing text, the ability to make each other laugh after so many years, and the soft sound of the perfect fit of our clasped hands provide me with new symphonies as our lives continue to change and grow and twist and turn.
I can’t imagine what I could say that would do justice to the love I feel for you. Yet once again, you inspired me to write the words to a new song–here’s the first verse and chorus–I’m sure we’ll have at least another 25 years for me to finish it.
Looking back on all the days we’ve spent
I can’t believe I’m still with my best friend
Yeah I see you walk across the room flashing that same smile
That still takes my breath away
Lord knows we have been through ups and downs
Somehow we both chose to stick around
There were times it didn’t seem we’d find a way back through those longest miles
Yet here we are today
If I could go back to the day you stood there dressed in white
I’d hold your hand, and look in your eyes
I’d Say I Do Again
This love will never end
We’ve been blessed by someone way up high
If that preacher asked me one more time
Will you take her for the rest of your life
I’d Say I Do Again
Happy 25th, angel. I love you forever