Tag Archives: you know

When You Know…YOU KNOW

We had our second support group meeting tonight, and I found  myself inspired by the resolute courage I saw in the faces of the group.

Sometimes you just KNOW what you have to do.

It’s the doing part that sometimes lacks follow through.

Lisa KNEW we would need to go to IVF the first time I got my sperm count back at one million.

I fought her, ignorant of the slim statistical success rates of clomid timed sex and IUIs based on my feeble count and Lisa’s endometrial inflammations.

When we failed our fourth IVF, my gut said it was time to go on to new clinic.  In a new state.

This time Lisa fought me.

We just needed to give our local RE one more shot and it would work.  It was like a boyfriend she couldn’t get rid of. She’d tried everything to make it work out, but the feelings just weren’t mutual any more. I had to help her make the break.

I KNEW that the statistical success rates meant something when I started reading the SARTs.

We had joined the 5% of the infertility population who fail multiple IVFs, and we had given our local RE more than the benefit of the doubt.  IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.

And we did.

I know I just wrote about this recently, but after we finally did get pregnant, the doctors wanted to take Lisa off the progesterone suppositories after a couple of months.

Lisa KNEW that it was too early.

At first she went against that instinct, and started spotting almost instantly.

Even though the doctors said it was unnecessary, she didn’t take their advice.  The spotting stopped, and our daughter graduates from the 4th grade tomorrow morning.

Like anything, I think we have an instinct when it comes to KNOWING what has to be done as the infertility journey progresses.

Part of that comes from being educated, and knowing the protocols inside and out, asking tons of questions, never being daunted by the impatient eye rolls.

We are PAYING huge sums of money for a CHANCE at having a child, and by God, if we are going to show the infertility clinic the money, then we should feel entitled to ride their asses like Zorro to get the answers, respect, and feedback needed to get our babies.

Like any business, there are going to be good days and bad days, and it’s not a bad idea to acknowledge that you are not the only patient the clinic has.   But like any customer, you have the right to demand and expect the best customer service possible.

If you don’t make yourself a priority, more than likely you won’t be treated like a priority.

If you know in your heart that something needs to change with the protocol, fight with every ounce of your soul for that change.

If you aren’t getting the answers you need to feel comfortable that you are doing everything you are supposed to be doing at every stage of your IVF, keep asking until you get that comfort.


It takes courage.

It takes energy that we often don’t have.

But it is worth it to make sure every shot we take at getting our soul baby into this world has the best odds of hitting the mark.

When you know, YOU KNOW.