If you are trying for your first baby, you are not alone….
…when you first find out that you will need the help of a doctor, adoption agency, surrogate or any other family building assistance to have your child and feel inadequate and embarrassed.
…when the pain of that fifth ultrasound, fourth blood draw, fifth insensitive thing that someone said in the last week, or 45th day of that IVF cycle that ends in a negative pregnancy test threatens the very foundation of your sanity.
…when you feel anger towards people who get pregnant easily, or complain incessantly about the children they have, or tell you to go relax, or ‘just’ adopt.
…when you have bad thoughts about your infertility doctor because they didn’t help you get pregnant.
…when you are the only one at a family event, baby shower, holiday celebration or other child-centric event who has to leave early.
…when you shake your fist at God, question His existence, curse Him out, plead with Him or completely lose faith because the one miracle you want in your life is still elusive.
…if you need to resort to violent movies, crude humor, alcohol, candy, medication, meditation, relaxation, acupuncture, therapy, exercise or all of the above to cope with the grind of an extended infertility journey.
…if you need to change your social circle to find other infertile couples who understand what you are going through and let other friendships and relationships go for a little while.
…if you believe you are the only one feeling the magnitude of pain coursing through your body with a canceled cycle, a failed cycle, a miscarriage or the loss of a pregnancy at any stage.
…if you wonder why the hell insurance doesn’t cover something that is diagnosed as both a disease and a disability.
…if you wonder how you’ll be able to afford the next cycle, how much interest you’ll pay on that credit card before you finally have a positive pregnancy test, and when you became such a gambler with your hard earned money.
…if you ponder why it’s okay for doctors to get paid for something that’s called a practice even if the practice has negative results time after time.
…if you develop a sixth sense that tells you someone nearby is going through or has gone through infertility.
…if you wonder why personhood would seek to make it more difficult for the most pro-family, pro-life human beings on the face of the earth to build families.
…if you wonder why so many legislators have a desire to track embryos.
…if you see every embryo you make as the potential for a little girl with your husband’s eyes, a little boy with your laugh, grandpas sense of humor, a lifetime filled with moments of beauty , and grieve the loss of that potential with every negative pregnancy test.
…if you wonder if you will meet all the embryos you lost and will have a huge family someday in heaven.
…if you wonder why some religions believe that Christ’s healing power isn’t or shouldn’t be working through the gifted hands of infertility doctors to fill the wombs of the modern day Saras and Hannahs.
…if you want to make things better for future infertility patients by speaking out, blogging, writing, legislating, or advocating for infertility laws, rights, and awareness.
…if you want to go up and hug every single infertile couple, no matter where they are in their journey and tell them one absolute truth:
You are not alone.