…if you worry you aren’t allowed to complain about parenthood after infertility because ‘after all, this is what you always wanted.’
…if you feel post partum depression, your hormones are out of whack, and parenthood is not everything you thought it would be but you can’t tell anyone, not even your husband, because you feel ungrateful.
……if you still get angry, depressed, resentful, or jealous when your fertile friends are still cranking out the kids and you are wondering if you have the stamina to do it all again so your only child has a sibling
…if you wonder just how much you are going to tell your miracle baby about how they came into the world.
…if you wonder what you’ll do if that little miracle says ‘I never asked to be born’.
…if you cringe hearing people talk about waiting to start their family until they are in their thirties and are more financially stable because they think there is ‘plenty of time’ to have a baby.
…if you panic as your miracle baby gets older, worrying about those lost human moments when you aren’t the parent you always wanted to be, and realize that you won’t get those moments back, and won’t get to play them out with another child unless you are willing to get on the infertility treadmill again.
…if you feel guilty even thinking about having another baby because you know so many other infertility friends who are trying for your first, but worry about your child being alone some day when you and your spouse are gone.
…if you suddenly realize that you must really reproductively screwed after having unprotected sex the last dozen years without having a child.
…if you suddenly realize that you must be really blessed because all that unprotected sex was actually quite amazing.
…if you silently thank God that the science exists that helped you overcome your reproductive challenge to get to your soulbaby.
…if you finally got a job that covers infertility but then find out that you’ve passed the age limit for being able to use your own biology.
…if people still say the same tired stupid stuff years after infertility: you’ll probably just have another baby no problem now that you aren’t so focused on it, when are you going to have a little brother/sister, that’s right, you guys went through infertility…and on…and on….
…if your child thinks that baby’s come from petri dishes in laboratories
…if you believe that God created infertility doctors to give all the empty wombs, hearts and souls as many children as they want to hold.
…if you want to walk your child into a group of personhood endorsers and dare them to call her a ‘designer’ baby.
…if you believe the world is a better place because of your remarkable IVF baby.
…if you mourn the embryos you lost even more having a daily reminder of the potential they held in living, breathing color every waking moment.
You are not alone