Wow I have a corner all to myself!
I really want my own apartment but I guess this will have to do for now 😉
So, first of all I am not a writer & unlike Denny, I dislike writing & really hate using the computer so we will see how long this Lisa’s corner will last! Many readers have asked about my side of the story; after all, making a baby does take two or in our case it took an entire village so I will be answering all of your “I wonder what Lisa thought about that” questions in Lisa’s corner.
I will also be bitching, whining, complaining & venting A LOT so if that is not your thing then step out of my corner! Not that I am a negative person or a victim in anyway. I just have so much rattling through my mind these days & need an outlet!
I am currently on a different journey but the same themes from our journey to parenthood keep popping up! The ‘why me I am all alone in this, no one understands’ themes. My newest journey involves a young cute trainer and not an army of doctors. I thank the dear Lord no baby making sex (isn’t that just the worst sex you have ever had?????)!
6 years of infertility drugs, IVFs, IUIs,GIFT, laparoscopies, hormone treatments, stage 4 endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and all the other shit that goes along with the horror of infertility caused my body to shut down after I finally had my daughter (after two weeks of prodromal labor and an emergency c-section no less!) Not only did I shut down…I was whacked out, fell apart, drooped, sagged & EXPANDED to a size I tried for the last nine years to shrink & “fix”.
Infertility gave me a few ‘bonus’ presents after the birth of Elliana: post partum depression, high blood pressure, PCOS and PMDD ( will explain this in detail later), brain swelling that led to a pituitary tumor scare, and an ever expanding waistline. I joined a “ladies only”gym, saw several doctors & went on Metformin, Prozac & high blood pressure pills, saw a nutritionist, did South Beach, Atkins, Weight Watchers & LiveStrong. Guess where all my effort got me?
Up to 226lbs!
Now I know so far it all sounds depressing & hopeless like many points during our journey to parenthood (see a familiar theme here?). Going through clinic after clinic, new doctors, new drugs, getting my hopes up & then crashing down, feeling like a failure with each battle lost but… then it happens, miracle of all miracles, you find just the right combo of drugs& doctors, (that would be follistim, estrogen, progesterone & St. Barnabas for us) and just like that the journey is over…or is it really just the beginning?
Well these days my drugs are the Paleo Lifestyle (no more Denny pricking me in the buttocks). The “doctor” is a young cute trainer Matt Enriquez (who gets up close & personal but nothing like the doctor with the magic wand!) and the protocol is cross fit workouts 6 days a week (yes painful but get to keep my panties on for these “procedures”!).
In the first 2 weeks I was off all medications except Prozac.
I lost 30lbs & 30 inches all over my body in the first 3 months.
I went from a size 16 to a current size 6 & the occasional stretchy 4!
I don’t know my current weight since I get obsessed with the number on the scale (much like obsessing about the beta hcg numbers after IVF) but Matt tells me it is no longer about the number on the scale as it is about the person I am becoming & the chains of poor health in my family that I am breaking. Much like our journey to parenthood…that experience changed me for the better.
It did not break me.
It made me it made me stronger, more resilient, more compassionate & awakened a faith deep down inside of me that I did not even know was there.
My hope for those of you reading this that are still in the midst of your struggle is that you will find your own “follistim”, “estrogen”, “Progesterone” ,”St. Barnabas”, or “Matt” and you will have the miracle drink you thirst so much for.