There are going to be days when the anger and frustration you feel are overwhelming. Praying may not ease the burden. On these days everything everyone says will be the wrong thing.
I have two words of advice:
Blame Canada.
I don’t want you to really blame Canada. But you may find levity in the crass politically incorrect humor of a show like Southpark, or any other type of off color humor that suddenly becomes incredibly comforting when you have those moments you think you could commit a crime against your reproductive doctor for not getting you pregnant…again.
About 5 failed IUIs and a 2nd failed IVF into our fertility journey I was nurturing some very unhealthy feelings and anger towards our RE. He had recently become defensive during a consult when I became hostile about why we had failed yet another $10,000 IVF cycle. He apparently felt the need to take it out on my sperm—with a 3 minute tirade during which he exclaimed that my sperm was “lousy” no less than 5 times while Lisa’s eyes welled up with tears as he even threw in the added insult that perhaps it was time for us to consider donors.
Concerned about the detailed plan I was hatching to kneecap the insensitive schwanker, one of the other guys in our fertility support group insisted I would love South Park. After the first five minutes of the crass, off color but incredibly socially accurate portrayals of everything from out of touch over bearing helicopter parents, to the current “blame game” generation that seems unable to accept responsibility for finding any answers to the many plaguing problems of life in the US, I was hooked.
Yes, the show contains some of the coarsest language that you will hear, and there are times when I had to shut if off because it went over the top.
But other times I couldn’t help laughing my butt off.
I could hear myself saying to our infertility specialist after a failed cycle “You killed our chances of having a baby this month—you bastard!”
This is a much healthier, and less conducive to a future criminal record way of dealing with anger issues that are bound to arise for us strong silent types when the dark side starts to beckon us to exact revenge on the evil endocrine empire.
That crass comedic escape often gave Lisa and I the levity we needed to not take our failed fertility pursuits so seriously, and gave our aching hearts a much needed laugh out loud healing moment.
So if all else fails, and you think you have lost all control:
BLAME CANADA!