Easter was always a tough holiday for us when we were going through infertility.
Lisa had visions of a little girl dressed in frilly spring get up with a white hat and white gloves.
The Easter Egg hunts were the worst–I never noticed how concentrated the sea of “kids that aren’t yours” could be until Easter in our 5th year of infertility sent Lisa running away from the scene.
I couldn’t find her for nearly an hour–and feared she was walking aimlessly through the desert blinded by a haze of tears.
When I finally did find her, it was in a phone booth, and she waved me away as the tears streaked mascara down her face.
It turns out her lifeline was a Resolve infertility support group friend, and after nearly an hour on the phone, Lisa was able to compose herself long enough to say a quick goodbye before we exited the emotional minefield.
Little girls with flowery dresses, white gloves, and Easter bonnets were EVERYWHERE.
Except in her arms.
That was one of the darkest days in our infertility journey.
But it passed.
Holy Saturday often brings me back to that day, and reminds me that the sun rises.
A new day comes.
There is always a new beginning.
A few years after that awful Easter, Lisa finally got to see her vision come true.
Elliana was 6 months old and decked out in a frilly spring dress, a spring bonnet, and she wore her little gloves with style, not fussing once about keeping them on. She even finished the ensemble with a pair stylish baby sunglasses.
The darkest hours pass.
Holy Saturday represents the wait for a better day.
And Easter, brings us the hope that a better day is waiting for every one of us.