I posted a discussion topic to the wonderful, brave women on Team Inspire’s support community for aspiring mothers in the hopes I could find out what husbands are doing right as the Valentine’s Day holiday approaches.
I have to thank all of them for taking a few moments away from their infertility journeys and responding so thoughtfully, and with so many good things to say.
I’m proud to see the infertility brotherhood is showing the love to their motherhood aspiring spouses, so much so that what I thought was going to just be one post, has turned into two.
First, I received several posts and emails that were “suggestions”. Since I know there is probably a lot of last minute scrambling going on to figure out the perfect gift by Thursday, here are some ideas that may help take the pressure off and at least
*Ask me how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking
*Hold me
*Know my cycle, when to expect O and af
*Take interest in decision making – bring it up every few days until a consensus is reached
*Bring me chocolate
*Remind me that I’m sexy
*Reassure me
*Tell me how much you appreciate me taking meds, scheduling appointments, getting poked and prodded, etc
*Research everything and discuss things you’ve researched and thought about with me
*Willingly come to appointments and hold my hand
*Initiate sex
*Ask me when I’m testing (hpt) and let me know you want to be present
*Take vitamins, exercise, quit drinking alcohol and coffee, etc – anything that might help you conceive
*Hand me a towel and pillow after sex so I can elevate my hips
*Rub my belly, be excited and optimistic, tell me we can do this!
* Never use the words “just relax”
* Be the first one to say “it’s time to go” if a family or friend event/holiday/birthday gets too “baby intense”
*Cook dinner without me asking
*Clean the house/laundry/bathroom without me asking
*Avert your eyes from anything that looks bloated on me
*Don’t comment on the bloating if you notice it
So there it is. All of these will fare a whole lot better than a last minute bouquet of flowers or haphazard dinner out somewhere—it looks like a little intimacy goes a LONG way here.
Stay tuned for the big Valentine’s Infertility post about WHAT THE DHS OF THE INFERTILITY WORLD ARE DOING RIGHT!
This is one you won’t want to miss!