Tag Archives: hormone level

Avoid The 12 Foot Infertility Shuffle


It is so easy to do the same thing expecting results.

Only problem is, that is the definition of insanity.

I was listening to a motivational speaker that I came across in the past year named Les Brown.

He talked about how people get caught in the “12 foot shuffle”.

What’s that?

The term is based on a story about a caged bear that was finally released into the wild after years of captivity in a 12 foot cage.

Despite all the options around the bear, when he was let out of the cage, he shuffled back and forth in the same 12 foot space he had been confined to his whole life.

Even though the bars were no longer there, he’d been conditioned so long to stay in that space, he couldn’t break out of it mentally.

That happened to us numerous times in our infertility journey.

We kept trying the same type of procedure over, not tweaking it or checking for additional signs that maybe a hormone level wasn’t quite right here, or maybe my sperm needed a whole lot more help than the doctors thought.

It was hard switching to new clinics with new people.

There was a certain level of comfort and familiarity that we developed with the hopeful smiles of the administrative staff, and the crossed fingers of the nurses and doctors.

But at some point, we had to move on

We almost got locked into a 12 foot shuffle with our IVF pursuits.

I know our doctor here wanted more than anything to get us pregnant, and he did everything he could.

When our 4th IVF failed, Lisa wanted to go back for number 5 with the same doctor.

Being on the outside of that emotional comfort cage, I knew I would have to be the one to help her see that we had to take a step out into the wild blue yonder.

Deciding to head out to New Jersey based on their success rates, and make the financial sacrifices required to get the best odds of success was a massive step beyond that 12 foot shuffle.

In the end it was what we needed to finally get to our soul baby.

If you are getting that nagging sensation that you are doing the same thing, and expecting different results, it may be time to move on to a new clinic, a new procedure, a new strategy.

Getting caught in that 12 foot shuffle only ticks off precious fertility seconds that we don’t have.