First of all, if you haven’t read this years nominees for best blog, check them out here and be sure to vote before the end of the month! http://www.resolve.org/vote
I came across a post today on facebook and it brought me back to my infertility blame game days.
They were sad, petty days when I believed that Lisa’s anger and negativity as cycles failed somehow influenced the negative outcomes.
Absurd I know, but I took my Zig Ziglar positive motivation too far many times.
I learned something very valuable after a few years: guys don’t have any maternal instinct.
None. Zip. Zero.
Why I insisted on discounting so many of Lisa’s concerns for so long and so vehemently I’ll never know.
Must be that macho guy thing.
If this is resonating with any guy that might be reading this, here’s some valuable advice:
Quit it.
Listen to your wife.
Unless you suddenly grow a womb overnight, you have no freaking idea what is moving through the spirit of your wife as she tries to navigate her own reproductive biology to find that instinct that says ‘yeah, this is right’ or ‘hell no, not this again.’
Just like women are connected to their babies by some powerful gravitational extra sensory force, I believe that force connects them to their potential baby who may be saying..uh…nope.
Not that way.
Try a different path.
I’m over here!
Lisa had some amazing moments of what I thought were negativity, but hindsight has taught me were actually something instinctive telling her we were on the wrong path.
Doctors are not always right.
And God knows neither are husbands.
So on the maternal instinct thing, clear the way, and shut your mouth if you want to do the DH right thing when she starts venting or expressing concerns about whether you should be trying something different.
I 100% believe that Lisa’s instincts and my getting out of the way of those instincts is what finally got us our soul baby.
Plus, the truth is, nobody wins in the blame game.
It’s not even worth playing.