When you’ve committed to an all out battle on all fronts, a strange sense of peace will come over you.
You will feel moments of serene clarity, and a sense of empowerment that comes from being resolute about what you want.
Of course those moments will often be interrupted by periods of sheer terror, panic and doubt, but breathing through those, and chanting like a mantra “I can do this” will help center you.
I worry that there is a consensus of resigned mediocrity casting a cloud over the concept of ‘going after what you want’ in life.
Maybe I experience it more because of how old I am, or the perceived comfort I’ve had in my life.
Infertility knocks you out of your comfort zone pretty damn fast.
You have to move forward, and as a guy it was hard me to get that until I became educated about the danger of sitting still when that biological clock is ticking.
Never let one setback consume you. Or one bad decision. Or a dozen bad decisions.
Nobody who succeeds does so without failing.
A lot.
It just takes a lot of fortitude to keep at it.
Sometimes you’re so afraid of losing what you’ve got, that you hold on to it for dear life, not wanting to risk insecurity in other parts of your life to pursue something you really want.
I heard a sermon at Mass a few weeks ago about the master that gives 3 servants talents.
10 talents to one, 5 to another and 2 the final one.
The 10 talent and 5 talent servants go out and double their money.
The 2 talent guy is so terrified of losing the 2 he has, that he buries them and does nothing with them.
The master is so angry he takes away the talents.
The people I met during years of infertility support groups have a ton of talents for being parents.
The ones I know who went out and relentlessly pursued the use of those talents, are now enjoying the abundance of parenthood.
Whatever you do, don’t bury those talents.
There is some little soul out there that will grow exponentially if you keep seeking it out.