As Arizona Walk of Hope eve approaches, I am listening to some of the songs on my playlist for tomorrow’s event, and for some reason the words to Phillip Phillips “Home” keep going through my head.
Sixteen years ago, when Lisa and I began our journey into the world of infertility, our “home” became a very foreign place.
We were quickly isolated, going down an unfamiliar road to parenthood while the rest of the fertile world changed around us.
The demons of fear and doubt and grief threatened to pull us down in into a quicksand of depression that sometimes we wondered if we’d ever get out.
Then we went to our first Resolve support group in Phoenix. We found other people who helped normalize the experience–helped to quiet the harsh whispers of the demons screaming for us to give it up and accept that our goals were out of reach.
The more meetings went to, the more we realized our “home” was in the community of other battle worn souls fighting to bring a child into the world.
As Lisa and I have navigated the world of post infertility parenthood, our infertility demons have still tried to bring us down.
Convince us we should feel bad if we don’t have a sibling for Elliana.
Or mock us for the ten years of unprotected sex that have still not yielded the “whoops” that everyone around was so sure would come once Elliana was born.
I just found out tomorrow there will be more than 220 supporters at the Walk of Hope.
I recognize some of the names of the veteran supporters as people who helped us during our journey.
And tomorrow I get to meet a bunch of new family members, to pay forward the support that was so unselfishly given to us by Resolve and all the people we’ve met through Resolve over the last decade and a half.
It’s like we’re going home.
Home
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home
Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home