I made a promise on January 22nd of this year to blog every day about infertility to provide male perspective support to those trying to find their soul baby with the assistance of a ‘licensed egg hunter’.
As of today, I have officially blogged for 90 days in a row on something somehow related to infertility.
I am hoping that by having a constant flow of words from a GUY who went through the confusing world of infertility acronym linguistics, the emasculation of watching another medically trained man put something into his wife’s nether regions to allegedly check her reproductive equipment on a regular basis, the pressure of doing a second sperm sample when the sperm handlers dropped my first one, and so many other indignities, that I will somehow normalize this for other guys going through this.
Lisa always wondered what was going on in my head during our primary infertility days.
Strong and silent didn’t work for her.
So maybe one of the infertility stressed wives who is too tired to figure out how to break the news to her DCMH (dear close minded husband) about some new challenge she has just learned about will use my words as a way to ease into it. Or at least say, “C’mon honey, you don’t have it nearly as bad as this guy did.” Even, “You are so much more understanding than he was.”
I also hope it will inspire more guys to get involved in creating awareness about the topic of infertility.
This starts by “finding your inner uterus.”
It never occurred to me that the desire to have a child is hard wired into a woman’s biology.
Whether it is God that made it that way or nature, the womb exists for only one purpose.
To be filled by a child.
That concept never resonated with me until we lost a baby to miscarriage.
Two days before our tenth wedding anniversary, we lost our first positive beta test baby, which we nicknamed “Dublin”, since his levels doubled against the odds from a very low start for eight glorious days.
The plan had been to drive up the coast of California all the way to Napa while we celebrated a decade of marriage and our fledgling parenthood.
Instead, I watched Lisa hold on to her stomach as she miscarried.
She was holding onto the smallest remnant of fullness that Dublin had given her womb with every ounce of her being.
As tragic as it was to lose Dublin, he gave me a gift that I never forgot.
He was the first baby to fill any part of Lisa’s womb.
Seeing the sparkle in her eyes during those eight pregnant days is something I have never forgotten.
I had a renewed energy and urge to see that sparkle fill Lisa’s eyes again.
And I did, only with the added bonus of seeing our newborn baby daughter reflected in her eyes a few years after that miscarriage.
Lisa’s womb finally got to do what it was meant to do.
I finally got to lose the “almost” in my almost a father parenthood status.
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)