It’s funny how when I talk to someone that doesn’t know the story of how we got Elliana into this world, they often say “I don’t know if I could go through all that to have a baby!”.
I know they don’t mean it the way it sounds.
Like it’s not worth it.
I always try to put it in perspective.
It’s like traveling to another state to get that interview for that job you really want.
Or working 2 jobs to put yourself through school so you can get the education you want.
Those would reasonably be considered ‘going through a lot.’
You go the distance to get to where you want to go.
For us that meant driving 120 miles back and forth once a month to attend infertility support groups in Phoenix before we started one in Tucson.
Then it meant driving 120 miles back and forth from Phoenix when we thought we were going to do a 3 IVF for $10,000 special the doc up there was offering.
Sadly, his business ended up in dire straits, so the drives to Phoenix ended for a while.
They were replaced by the two round trips to New Jersey.
We crossed the finish line with a high beta after the second trip.
Our last poor quality embryos decided to grace us with her presence 10 months after that high beta phone call.
It’s worth going the distance, no matter how far the drive, how long the flight, or how high the costs.
You find ways to endure the trips, and become resourceful about how to handle the costs.
You find different paths, changes the way to get there, but you don’t change to decision to get there.
Go the distance.
I want to go the distance!! I not sure my wife wants to. I am willing to go bankrupt to have a child. She is not. I can’t wait. She can. I will work through the possibility that my condition may render me unable to be a biological dad. I will have to cry and deal with any envy that our ending was not as “happy” as those who were able to conceive through IVF. It is still to early to tell. I am getting ahead of myself again. It has been a rough day or two for me.
If I must, I will adopt. This will be only as a last resort. I can’t bear the thought of never being a dad. The “baby bug” bit me way harder than I ever thought it would.