I have spent the past few hours clearing out drawers and throwing out papers as we prepare to move to a new office after twenty years at the current one.
There is a bit of nostalgia but mostly excitement about the prospects of what lies ahead.
I’ve read a lot of articles that say before you are going to make a big change you have to clear out the old clutter.
As I fill garbage back after garbage bag, finding things that trigger both happy and sad memories, I can feel gunk clearing out in my soul.
A new future is beginning to reveal itself.
Before we began our final journey to New Jersey to get Elliana, we made what had formerly been the ‘baby’ room into a home office.
It wasn’t that we didn’t believe it was going to happen.
It just felt like that room represented all of the potential soul babies we had lost.
I hated walking by the room after about our fifth year without any child on the way.
Besides I always thought the room closer to our bedroom, even though it was a few extra steps closer than the formerly designated ‘baby room’, felt more like the place where we would put our first crib.
As it turns out the added benefit of the space that ultimately became the official baby room about a year after clearing out the old one, was the open space on the second floor made it easy to hear from the bottom floor. Every time Elliana cried or made a sound we could hear it echo through the high ceilings down to wherever we were on the first floor.
Of course she figured that out and terrified me when she learned the slightest cough or fake cry could get daddy running up there, only to find her reaching her arms up with a grin that said “I gotcha again.”
I love this quote, and it kind of sums up how I’m feeling as this day ends:
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson
Here’s to making some new endings.