Being Hot or Cold In Infertility Pursuits

So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

I’ve always had troubles with that verse in Revelations.

Playing it safe–or being lukewarm–was what made me so reluctant to go for the IVF gold early on in our infertility pursuits.

It’s not like the writing wasn’t on the wall.

1 million count.

Lisa with endometriosis.

Rough combo.

I played it safe, and convinced Lisa to go against the ‘heat’ inside her that made her want to dive right into the IVF pool after I got my very first dismal sperm count back.

We chose a local doctor, played it safe by not even bothering to check his SART rates, and I rationalized that at least the expense of this RE was not as astronomical as some of the fees I’d seen other infertility patients pay in other parts of the country.

Sad thing is all that playing it safe led us to needing to put it all on the line.

We had to be hot or cold when it came to deciding to put all our resources on the line, because there was no way in hell being lukewarm was going to get us on a plane to New Jersey a month after 9/11.

I know I tell this story over and over again, but I never know whose reading about this right now, and hopefully if somebody is thinking about taking that ‘middle of the road safe choice’ I can be the first one to say: don’t bother.

Do or do not.  There is no in between. No lukewarm.

Infertility is a tough monster to fight, but if you go in mamby pamby thinking ‘well I don’t really know if this is what I want’ that fire breathing dragon will burn your ass to a crisp before you finish whining.

Like any other pursuit in life, either go all in, or just go home.




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