Almost A Father Excerpt Enlightenment: The Sperm Sample



What I Wrote:

I skulk into the lab, quickly turning my groin area away from any of the dozens of eyes that might suspect I am there due to a potential defect. I have seen movies that portray “whack-off” rooms complete with abundant pornographic selections, a large-screen TV, and mood music to promote maximum sperm excitement. My reality is green vinyl flooring with chips in the corners, and 1970s lime green furniture with some brownish shapes on them that at some point were probably flowers before the multiplicity of diseased asses wiped off their original images.


 Why I Wrote It:

For me this was the beginning of a massive reality check for my preferred vision of how Lisa and I would have a baby.

It was also a grim moment of truth when the results came back, and I joined the millions of other men who find out their contribution to the biological baby equation is subpar.

As expected the descriptions have resonated with a lot of other guys who were disappointed when their Hollywood vision of providing a sample was replaced with twenty square feet of public bathroom at some health clinic.  Yes, the high end clinics offer more in the terms of comfort and inspirational accommodations, but most couples are hopeful that the high end and high cost fertility clinic is not going to be in their future.

The most surprising response I’ve gotten about this excerpt is the response from other women.

I’ve actually gotten empathy from even Lisa for how difficult it must be to provide a sample at the hands of an on demand orgasm.   Lisa said if she had to do that, the deal would have been off.

I am sure she would have found a way being as goal focused as she is, but I appreciated the understanding for something that on the surface may seem like a small contribution, but comes at an enormous cost to the male ego.

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