I wrote Almost A Father, created a website and blog to go with it, to share experiences and provide support for millions of people who may face infertility or live with guilt as parents after infertility. I apologize that I’ve done such a poor job at keeping up with it. I was embarrased to read my posting log on Facebook yesterday and see that I’ve only posted 6 times since October! And I call myself a writer??
That all changes with 360 days to turn 360 degrees. Lisa and I have met so many incredible people throughout our infertility journey, and our parenthood after infertility life always inevitably some how has some tinge of infertility that creeps into the conversation. Something that is similar in our life experience that we are able to handle because it has some common ground with getting through the heartache of trying so hard to accomplish something that can often seem so out of reach.
Beyond teaching us the true meaning of perseverance and faith, we also learned how to break the bonds of political correctness, see outside the narrow in the box mindset that plagues so much of the dialogue in the country. We decided to leave the blame game once and for all, and permanently disavow any association with the bare minimum movement (you know the ‘movement’ that expects massive rewards for minimal effort) to take every possible step possible to see our dream through to reality.
Do or do not. There is no try. That is the way Lisa has lived her life as long as I have known her, and I have learned a great deal from her throughout many trials in our life together.
I found my writing voice because I was willing to talk about things guys don’t normally talk about. I’m not going to try to write or post every day–I am going to do it. Too many people have been encouraging me to do this, but I have made excuses instead of changes.
I tell Elliana all the time to make changes, not excuses. It is about time I lived by example. Too many people who are not the “experts” cited in all the political, TV or newspaper editorials have answers and perspectives that I hear all the time in conversations, texts, and emails that are far more evolved and intelligent than the limited viewpoints we are presented with in the current media climate.
Plus there is just too much negativity out there, don’t you think? I was so sad when Zig Ziglar died recently because his legacy seems to be slowly fading out as the country is consumed by a 24/7 coverage of for the most part the worst examples of human behavior.
As Zig always said about what we see on TV (which he recommended we watch very little of any way), “life just ain’t that bad.” And I agree.
So what about 360 days and 360 degrees? I guess it’s about coming full circle, and committing to doing something you really love, are really passionate about, and not letting up until you’ve made some kind of difference. Finding your voice in something that allows you to express your individuality and unique experiences is so lacking.
I see signs of that individuality when I see Elliana finding her voice through dance. She expresses her joy, anger, frustration, passion and tweenie-bopper angst in every move, and her teachers nurture and push her to get better all the time.
I see Lisa finding her voice as she becomes more fit and energetic and healthy–breaking the chain of health problems that have plagued her family for generations. Her voice as a mother is remarkable and constantly evolving and she continues to inspire much of what I write about, and pushes me to write more.
I hope ultimately that somehow my words will spark others to find their own voice. Whether it is writing, emailing, texting, dancing, singing, sports, martial arts, music, songwriting, lyric writing, poetry…there is so little made of the importance of finding our OWN voice in this life. Being willing to put our own experiences and life out there so we can find support, but let other people know they are not alone.
Let the wimp be gone, and let the warrior arrive
Or in the eloquent words of Saint Catherine of Siena:
“If you are what you should be, you will set the world ablaze”.