16 Years And Still Hoping For An “Oops”

I should’ve known better.

You’d think after sixteen years I’d give up the dream.

Lisa was a week late up until yesterday.

She was repulsed by the smell of vinegar, much like she was weeks after we finally got our first super positive beta on our 5th IVF.

Angry at me for the volume of my chewing.

Generally irritated by my presence in the same room for more than a quarter of an hour.

I  had some part of me thinking…maybe even hoping, that we had somehow joined the ‘oops’ club.

We had several support group members have their oops child after all the infertility years.

Why not us?

All this cross fit and Lisa and I are in the best shape of our lives.

We are eating clean–very little toxins going down the gullet that might cause problems with the plumbing.

Elliana would make a great big sister, and at 10 years old, picturing her with a little brother or sister was actually beginning to enter my mind with each passing day Aunt Flo didn’t show up.

But, then, being the b*tch she is, Aunt Flo appeared yesterday.

Just as I was getting warm fuzzies about my little ‘oops’ fantasy.

If you’re going through primary infertility and reading this, you are probably thinking “don’t get greedy–I’m still working on my first!”

Yeah–I felt the exact same thing when I’d read or hear a story like this during our infertility days.

But I do get the secondary infertility perspective now.

Once you DO clear the primary infertility hurdle with a successful IVF outcome, a little voice may start saying “what about a sibling?”

In our case, that voice has never been as loud as the one that was bellowing at us while we were working to get past primary infertility.

But every once in awhile, we do hear the whisper ask the question “what about an oops?”

The answer thus far:

Not for you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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